My shift is over. I did what was needed of me and now I have to hang around til the end. But it’s my time as well. I can do nothing and fade away or maximize my time and better myself. I stare outside,the sun shining on the gates that lead to the train station. The wind blows and the leaves from the trees and bushes rustle. The breeze kicks in. I get back to it. I choose to better everything about me that I can. Read about topics that interest me and can provide some substance to my life. I lift weights in my truck bed. Nothing drastic but enough to feel great.
I think a lot. Where is this leading me to. Am I going to be a statistic and retire with a pension or am I going to crush all my goals and dreams. I feel low again. Why?I have absolutely no reason to be feeling this way. I really do enjoy my employment.
My mind races. I need to calm the fuck down. I live my life in a rush. Just rushing to nowhere. There is so much I need to figure out and every time I feel that I have something accomplished,bang. Stopped dead in my tracks. This can’t be normal. Like seriously,how can one person get clarity with the mind on a constant rollercoaster.
I feel like I need a vacation. But not a week or more,like one night and a day. Just a mini getaway. No responsibility. No clean up. Just a day of shopping and exploring. Yeah!i like that.