Does it get better or worse

So as most readers might not know if you haven’t read my other blogs I’m pretty much a lonesome cowboy. I have a very few,I guess more than one but less than 3 is considered few,friends.

It wasn’t always like this. When I was younger I was surrounded by friends. All we did was hang out.

Then as we grow older we start living our future lives. Now not that it’s a bad thing it just sucks that all this change leaves a lot of emptiness in so many people. I am one of those. Up until the age of 30 I was doing good. Then something in me changed. I got sober. 100%, no “special occasions ” sober. And then the hardest decision came. In order for me to live my new found life I must destroy the old one. I did. Not in a way that had everyone surrounding me hate me. Just was not present at get togethers. After a few years I started going out again to places I would not be able to tolerate before. It got better.

Now that you have a little back story let’s get to the point of this whole blog. Does this get better or worse?does this feeling of lonely nights and days get better?

I should of made new friends when I was cleaning myself up. I didn’t. It’s all on me. I’m in my mid thirties and as someone who doesn’t believe in age and it’s barriers,what do I do now?

Seriously people I’m asking!Most of the time I’m way too busy to do anything anyways between working on the property and work. I literally work to stay super busy that it’s an excuse that I’m such an introvert.

I haven’t had a decent outing in a long time. And to top that off the last friend outing I had just sucked.

Like,what the fuck happened to me,to us? Where did we go wrong. I use to be such a go getter person that nothing would stop me,now,I’m like a crow just gawking and flying solo.

I know that I can’t be the only person out there that is in this situation so I am asking for some guidance.

I do my daily 2 chairs which brings me much needed clarity and peace and yet every now and then I find that my heart needs some friendship moments.

In a world full of itself,do I have to turn to the internet?I have my own gym so I don’t have a gym membership,but in reality that is all I can come up with.

Go to the gym make friends,lift together, be happy. Seems like a fucking cartoon. I do really believe that life works this way. Seems like nobody has time but I see people at bistros and sporting events have a great time. They have some moments to spare. On a side note,I hate watching sports. Wwe. That I enjoy.

This venting of mine is not associated with depression or low thoughts. It’s just a straight forward”where can I meet people who aren’t clingy,aren’t babies and just genuinely want to have get togethers once or twice a week”. I know work and family and social obligations are super time consuming,but we all need to decompress. I know I do.

So if anyone is out there reading this and would like to get together,even just have conversation hit me up. You will always see me smiling as I don’t believe in frowning faces.

-I will stand strong on both my feet,even when the wind blows. As I know that being surrounded won’t protect me from a hurricane. -Stranger of MTL

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